that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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