yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
