If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
