i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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