In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
