...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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