guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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