just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
