I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
