i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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