Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want to have your abortion
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A bitchslap is in order.
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