i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize