I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Two words: nipple clamps
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