oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize