hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We were destined to go to rehab together
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
