im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
