Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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