He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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