For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
