Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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