Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
