I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
