after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are all done wearing pants today
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
