it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish they made helmets for livers.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
