ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
