we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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