You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
