So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
