He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
