She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
