My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
