these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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