apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
