I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
