Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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