I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
