WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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