You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
