the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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