is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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