i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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