i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
