they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
