People in love make me want to vomit
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
