I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
