I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
