Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
