So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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