I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
