Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
