i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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