her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
