Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
