i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize