is your mom at the bar?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize