I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We don't watch enough power rangers
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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