But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
