You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
