So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
