Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
