Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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