I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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