the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
