the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love having hate sex.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
