Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
