Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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