I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
